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Jan. 28th, 2007

A couple of months ago I mentioned M., a woman with whom I was enjoying many a hot phone call and many pictures. We talked about getting together at some point in time, and last year she was thinking of me as a lover, wanting me to have full access to her body.

So it goes that indeed she has gone in another direction in life, as she has dove into writing, flirting and playing with whoever she wishes. Although the thought of being part of her life was very appetizing at one time, it's clear now that we are two very different people. I wish her well in whatever she does.

One thing I have found out for myself is that if someone who is interested in me is also seeing someone else (male, female, any other gender), that they have some understanding of the basics of polyamory. I have loved/desired more than one for most of the last six years and hopefully those I love or play with would understand that I'm fully committed to my wife and that I would certainly respect any other connection that my playmate would have.
I have this urge to play. To make someone feel good and/or to make me feel good as well. I don't know if it would be face-to-face, on webcam, on the phone. I don't know if it would be a hot fuck session, a soft 'making love' vibe, a fantasy scene, a fetish scene, or something totally different. I don't know if it would be one-to-one or with two or more people.

All I know is that I have this urge...to play.
I haven't been terribly ill for the last month but I have had a cold bug for almost four weeks, something that seems to show new faces fairly often. In the last couple of days, it's decided to give me some shortness of breath at times when I really don't want it to do so.

Much of whatever horniness crosses my paths has also went much lower the last couple of days, one result of which being that I've slept a lot more when home and I haven't been much around the computer.

Hope all of you are well and I hope to be so again, as well.

Jan. 1st, 2007

It's taken a while to reflect on some of the advantages of a vasectomy and being a polyamourous man. At the end of 2003, I had the snip and it's held up quite well. Recently, as I had been talking with M., we were discussing the people around our lives as it relates to safety factors and fluid-bonded versus play with condoms. Although I can't see us meeting at all now, the content of the discussions can be applied in connections I may develop with others.

I'm never going to do anything that puts me at risk, thereby putting my wife at risk as well. That being said, if there is enough trust between myself and someone else, and I feel enough confidence that risk factors are next to none, then the chances can certainly exist in the future to leave the condoms aside. It's got to be a mutual choice between myself and another woman to do that, as I'm not going to push that subject alone. As for men, the idea of barebacking is a non-starter -- I'll leave that to the porn.

it's been a long time...

I think it's just about time to resume posting here again. I'm still with K., and indeed we're engaged to be married next summer. She's done a lot to show me that men my age can indeed have stamina!

Many times now, I've been in her pussy, come once, thrust more, and come again. No one's made me do that before. She's living on the west coast for now, due to come to join me next year, and I miss so many things about her. At least there is fantasy time, when I can draw on reality and remember how it feels to be with her. I'll be with her at New Year's and I do hope that once again we can bring in the new year entwined and together.

sweetest day...

I wonder if I'm among the *very* few Canadians that have received a Sweetest Day card. I've grown to understand that it's something of an adult Valentine's Day, and kids don't do anything special at all about the day. Then again, I've heard it described as a regional 'Hallmark Holiday'.

Nevertheless, within the card from my partner A., I've been reminded that due to a little imbalance within her that obliged us to hold off on certain things, she wants to make up for some lost sexual escapades that we couldn't touch on the last trip. I've hinted to her that instead of taking our time to settle in before exploring, I want to hold her against a wall and slowly strip her down, then get on my knees, continue to hold her to the wall, and lick her pussy until she starts to drip.

A. is someone who sometimes needs to take water breaks just so later on she can squirt them out. Both her and I are looking forward not only to the alone time in 2 weeks but a group party where there could be up to 9 playing at one time. The only difference between play with her and I and play with others included is two things: fisting and anal play stay purely between us as a couple. We don't go down those roads around others. Mind you, A.'s new GF evidently loves to be fisted, so, one never knows -- and I've already been informed that she wants to have some play with A. and myself. Fisting is something that is truly a physical and mental odyssey between A. and myself. It doesn't necessarily make me hard to be doing it, but the experience to the mind is absolutely incredible.

time to get busy

This has been my 'other journal' space for a long time, but I had been using it for reading and not really for posting.

Time to change that.

I'm on many journeys at this time of my life, and this journal will hopefully touch on some of them -- and hopefully some pics as I can add them. I make no apologies for some of what I may write about, for it is all consensual. I may write about women, men, bisexuality, D/s, toes, anal sex, just to name a few...time will tell!


I am whatever I am

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